Thursday, September 24, 2009

Greasy Confessions

Dont forget to enter the giveaway on the entry below this one. That's right, FREE STUFF from me becasue I love you. Enter, if you wanna.

First of all, I need to thank you guys for being the funniest blog readers ever. Everybody is saying the best things to win that apron.

I was laughing my butt off as I read them all. Well, just figuratively speaking. If I could laugh my butt (and muffin tops*) off I would be the hottest chick in town.

On to some greasy confessions.

1. I have a greasy secret hide out.
It's the bathroom. The one place where nobody will follow me (if I lock the door.) Claim you are "going" and everybody backs off. 9 times out of 10 I am just taking a break in there. Reading a book, breathing, enjoying the sensation of my legs not being clawed at by a fussy toddler. It is my own little oasis. If it is a mess, I just shut my eyes. Perfect.

2. I am greasy enough that I use my baby to get out of things.
One perk of motherhood is the endless supply of excuse possibilities. "Oh, I wish I could but the baby is (enter anything here)".

3. I wash clean laundry and clean dishes. Greasy.
Sometimes I am too lazy to empty the dishwasher when I want a clean kitchen so I just chuck dirty dishes in with the clean ones and run the dishwasher again. Same with laundry.

4. I love video games.
When Ronan goes to bed, the one and only thing on my mind is getting in some video game time before I have to go to bed and start over again tomorrow. I often dream about killing aliens as a result of my late night video game sprees. I get mad at John when he plays too much, but then do it myself. Grease ball.

5.I rob John of food.
John will ask me if I want him to make me any (enter food here). I always say no, but then steal his food. I can't help it. Sometimes he will buy himself a candy bar, and I will eat it when he isn't looking, hoping that he will forget about it. Yup, I can be a Grease.

6. I am a greasy little "price optimist".
Go ahead, ask me how much I bought that one thing for. I can't help but round down. If it was $29.00, I will go with $25.00 even though technically I should round up. When John asks, the rounding gets even more creative and "optimistic". I can't help it. Well, I guess I could but I just don't want to. My way sounds better.

Since you all are so stinkin' funny, let me know what YOU do that is greasy**?

* Muffin Tops : A nicer sounding description for what are more commonly refered to as love handles. The chub that sticks out over the top of jeans.

** Greasy : A word I used to describe underhanded tactics. Think of the stereotypical used car salesman's greasy slicked back hair.

6 people had this to say...:

Amy said...

funny- i just posted something similar... rachel tagged me so i posted some honest things about myself.

i do the same thing with jeff when he offers to make me something... he's started to make it for me even when i say no!

Candace said...

Oh my gosh! I haven't been out to your blog in so long and it's just adorable!!! You are super uber juber awesome with design - I've forgotten how good you are since I never see you and your work these days. How lovely! You go girl.

And yes... I'm still reading everything, just via google reader.


Stef said...

I manage an apartment complex that is occupied by crack heads for the most part. I could write a friggin book on the greasy crap I pull in order to get rent every month.

I am also horrible when it comes to picking up our mess at restaurants. (This behavior began the day #2 was born.) I leave a larger tip than usual, but I also leave food scraps on the floor, napkin shreds all over the table and some spilled beverage remnants somewhere in our wake. I shouldn't do this. This is really greasy.

B-Tuck said...

I don't know if I should share my greasiness with the internet.. you never know where this stuff will end up. But I'll share one little tid bit... I steal people's boyfriends just for the sport of it. Generally it's only people I don't really like, but the thing that's really greasy about it is that I do it just because I wanna see if I can. Once I've got 'em, I throw 'em right back most of the time. What kind of guy lets himself get stolen by a harlot when he's got a perfectly good girlfriend already? I mean seriously. I don't want that kind of guy.

milk with tea said...

I just found your blog through Boojiboo. You're hilarious! I'm adding you to my Google Reader :)

Heather said...

Lol, Rach! My biggest greasy confession is that I tell Mando I have a ton of homework to do (which I usually do) so he takes the kids to his mom's house with him and then I get the day to relax and watch tv... oh and do homework! :)