Sunday, August 10, 2008

Long Time, No Post

Hello everyone.

It has been a really long time since I have had two seconds to wipe my bum, let alone get on a computer and post anything.

I am surviving life with a newborn. It is really hard to adjust. Babies require a lot of time at this age. I knew that, but now I really KNOW it.

We don't do much besides eat, sleep and have some play time.

Ronan is a big eater. I mean BIG. He was so big when he was born and has had the appetite of a three month old since day one.

He has totally ripped up my chest, and requires supplement bottles to top him off. I think he can pack away close to 6 ounces at each feeding now. That is a ton for a 3 week old baby.

Ronan is wearing 3 month old clothing already and skipped right up to size one diapers.

When I look at him I have a hard time remembering that he is only 3 weeks old. He looks like a 3 month old to me.

Our little man has gained an entire 1.5 pound since last Friday. Holy cow. He now clocks in at a hefty 11lbs 6oz

When he eats he makes loud grunting and snorting noises. He eats so fast that he often kind of chokes himself. When you remove the bottle to burp him, he freaks out. He wants to make sure we know he isn't done yet. It is so funny.

A good friend of mine from work gave us a cute little toy. I had no idea the impact this colorful monkey would have on my ability to get out of the house. Ronan is not a car seat fan, but after attaching this sweet monkey, Ronan will go anywhere with relative ease.

When we first attached the monkey he was mesmerized. He stared at it forever, with his mouth open. I can't wait until he gets a little older and can pull on it. It makes a fun noise and moves if you pull it. For now he is perfectly happy to watch it swing above his seat.

Thank you to the Martins. Oh, thank you, thank you! You have given me a golden ticket out of the house! I know that you understand what a precious gift THAT can be!

Now, as you all know, I have a bit of a curse. My best blog stories always go back to something bathroom related. I am not sure why.

So here it is, my latest poop story.

John got Lasik done this week.

I know that has nothing to do with poop, but we are getting there...

Anyway, he had some super invasive procedure. Not your average laser thingie, and is basically blind and in pain. They sent him home looking like Ray Charles, and with a handful of Lortab. We had the fun experience of discovering that John is allergic big time to Lortab.

So imagine this. Me (not the most calm person by far on a good day) with a screaming newborn, a blind husband who is having an allergic reaction, two dogs with upset stomachs, and a partridge in a pear tree. Okay, no partridge.

So John starts hyperventilating and thinks that he can't breath and is having a panic attack. While he is panicking Ronan decides it is time to soil his diaper.

Ronan doesn't just poop once. He saves up a days worth and goes through about four diapers in a 3 min. time period. Yellow, soupy, diapers.

As I am changing diaper number three, he pees everywhere and caps it of with another "soupy poopy" so powerful that it literally shoots 3 feet across the room and on to his bedroom curtains.

All I can do is laugh. I am past crying now, and almost everything stressful or gross is now hysterically funny to me. I start changing Ronan's clothes before the poop drips off the curtains and to the floor. I make it. Just as I finish cleaning up and holler to my blind husband that I am coming to help him with his panic attack I hear retching coming from the living room.

Max is hacking up a pacifier that he tried to eat the other day.

All I can say is thank heaven for wood floors and leather couches. I can disinfect it all.

Anyone else want to come over and poop or barf at my house? Bring your pets, we will all have a great time.

John eventually got some meds that he is not horribly allergic to, and I eventually got some sleep. An entire uninterrupted 2 hours!

I have afeeling that my life is going to be a lot more poopy and barfy from now on. But hey, it makes for an interesting blog read, right? :)

1 people had this to say...:

Merrill family said...

Rachel you always make me laugh! But now I'm laughing with you isn't motherhood Great! Good luck with all you pets & People who need you.