What the Hell?

On that special all-about-Mommy day, he's releasing a 'kid's book' - My Beautiful Mommy - featuring a perky Mommy explaining to her child why she's having cosmetic surgery. Mom's gonna get a tummy tuck, a nose job and breast implants!

This is not a joke. This book is really going to be out soon!

Before her surgery the mom explains to her little girl that she is getting a smaller tummy: "You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore. Dr. Michael (the author's homage to himself?) is going to help fix that and make me feel better."

"Mom" comes home looking like a slightly bruised Barbie doll with demure bandages on her nose and around her waist.

The text, unfortunately, doesn't mention the breast augmentation, but the illustrations intentionally show Mom's breasts to be fuller and higher.

Dr. Michael the author explains, "I tried to skirt that issue in the text itself. The tummy lends itself to an easy explanation to the children: extra skin and can't fit into your clothes. The breasts might be a stretch for a six-year-old."

The report also points out that the book doesn't explain exactly why the mother is redoing her nose either. Nonetheless, Mom reassures her little one that the new nose won't just look "different, my dear—prettier!"

Naturally, the ending is happy. Mommy is "even more" beautiful than before, and her daughter is thrilled.

Sick.

Hey, lets teach our daughters that Mommy needs surgery to be happy with her body. Lets teach them at a young age to have body issues to the point of surgery later in life! Great plan!

For Real?

This is an actual name suggestion I got today.
Daxton.
Daxton Dunston.
For real?
Come on people.

And you thought barbie was bad.....

I went to Target yesterday, and as always I checked out the My Little Pony aisle. While down there I saw what has ticked me off for a couple of years now, and I thought that I would say something about it on my blog.


Bratz Dollz.


I remember growing up, not really having Barbies. She was proportioned all wrong, and had her mind on boys and shopping. Not really a great educational toy for little girls. But at least Barbie has been a doctor, and an astronaut, even a veterinarian.


Now comes the new generation of misguided toys for little girls. The Bratz Doll. I would let me little girl have a hundred Barbies over one Bratz Doll any day.


They are all sorts of wrong and meant for children as young as five years old!


Take this one pictured above. This is supposed to be a baby doll, or a baby Brat. I am sorry, but what the hell are we teaching little girls when their baby dolls are caked in make-up and dressed like hookers? Look at her, a baby doll sporting a plunging neckline!



Since when do babies wear chola eyeliner and have Angelina Jolie lips, complete with hideous lip gloss?



I hate the Bratz Dolls. I think they should all be burned. Whoever came up with this crap has certainly contributed to the age inappropriateness of today's little girls and their body image issues in a huge way. And more shame on the people who choose to buy these for their kids.



A small taste of what real babies would look like according to the idiots at Bratz. Sign your babies up for lip augmentation now. Plastic surgeons are filling up their schedules fast!

NOT ALVIN!

This weekend I went to see a movie and I saw this horror sitting smugly in the lobby of the theater.

I mean, what the heck is this? Since when are the chipmunks little ugly thugs? They look more like a bad Run DMC cover band than Alvin and the chipmunks! Alvin is a trouble maker, but not a low hood wearing idiot! He is a high style 80's fashion and music icon! He is my first love!

Alvin, what have they done to you?

Look at Simon! He is supposed to be a lovable genius, with big round glasses. Why is he wearing a track suit, and sunglasses? Is he pretending to be average, just to fit in? Sacrificing his ample brain power to corporate whims!

And dear sweet, cupcake making Theodore. He looks like he is now a regular customer of McDonald's. McDonald's in the projects! Smiling all deviously! I am surprised he doesn't have some thug gold teeth in there to complete the look.

Last but not least, why does David Seville look like he just had a chipmunk bite him in the butt? I have never seen a more angry and ominous Dave in all my years as an Alvin fan.

Upset, and disappointed, I searched for more Chipmunk images on the web. I found this:

Slightly better, but still not good. Why do the chipmunks look like they just hid David Seville's body in the trunk of a car?

Traditionally Simon should be smiling and Theodore looking a little confused with a cupcake stuffed in his mouth, while Alvin smiles with a touch too much confidence.

But this? This is unacceptable.

Simon, is looking actually scary. Simon! What the heck!

I

am

shattered.

This is what the Chipmunks should look like!

What is next, the Chipettets dressing as the mini adult women, wearing much too little clothing and much too much make-up because of the over sexualization of young girls in American society?

Do, Do, do do do do, Do Do, dododo!